Let’s be honest: as Christians, we sometimes struggle to love others, especially those who are difficult, disagreeable, or just plain different from us. Despite our shared faith in Christ, personalities can clash, preferences can differ, and offenses can linger. Yet, Scripture is clear that we are called to love one another—not only for our own spiritual growth but also as a testimony to the world.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34-35, NIV).

This command is not optional. As followers of Christ, our ability to work together and show love is central to our witness. So, what do we do when we don’t get along with fellow believers? Let’s explore this question with the help of Scripture and examples from God’s Word.

Even in the early church, Christians faced conflict and relational challenges. Take Paul and Barnabas, for example. These two faithful men had worked together closely, preaching the Gospel and planting churches. Yet, in Acts 15:36-40, they had such a sharp disagreement over John Mark that they parted ways:

“They had such a sharp disagreement that they parted company. Barnabas took Mark and sailed for Cyprus, but Paul chose Silas and left, commended by the believers to the grace of the Lord” (Acts 15:39-40, NIV).

This conflict didn’t mean that either Paul or Barnabas was ungodly. It simply highlighted their differing perspectives. However, even in their disagreement, they both continued to serve the Lord, spreading the Gospel in different regions. Later in Paul’s letters, we see evidence of reconciliation, as Paul commends Mark as a valuable co-laborer (2 Timothy 4:11).

Another example is Euodia and Syntyche, two women in the Philippian church. Paul urged them to reconcile and be of the same mind in the Lord:

“I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel” (Philippians 4:2-3, NIV).

This passage reminds us that disagreements are not new, but unity in Christ is essential for the mission of the Gospel.

Why Is It Important to Love Fellow Believers?

It Honors God When we love one another, we reflect God’s love. 1 John 4:20 reminds us: “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.”

Our love for others—especially other Christians—demonstrates the transformative power of the Gospel in our lives.

It Strengthens the Church Unity among believers fosters growth and strength within the body of Christ. Paul writes in Ephesians 4:2-3: “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.”

When we put aside our differences and focus on Christ, we build each other up and advance God’s Kingdom.

It’s a Witness to the World Non-believers are watching how Christians interact. If they see division, bitterness, and strife, it can undermine our testimony. Jesus prayed for unity among His followers in John 17:21: “That all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.”

Our unity and love for one another are powerful tools for evangelism.

How to Love Christians Who Are Not “Our People”

Recognize Our Common Mission Regardless of our differences, we are all on the same mission: to glorify God and make disciples. Paul reminds us in 1 Corinthians 12:12-14: “Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.”

We each have different roles, gifts, and personalities, but we are part of the same body.

Pray for Them Prayer changes hearts—ours and theirs. Jesus instructed us in Matthew 5:44: “But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.”

If we can pray for our enemies, how much more should we pray for our brothers and sisters in Christ, even when we struggle to like them?

Extend Grace We all have flaws, and we all need grace. Colossians 3:13 encourages us: “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

When we remember how much grace we’ve received from God, it becomes easier to extend grace to others.

Focus on Christ When we fix our eyes on Jesus, our differences fade into the background. Hebrews 12:1-2 reminds us: “And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.”

By keeping Christ at the center, we can work together despite our personal preferences.

Seek Reconciliation If there’s a specific conflict, take steps to resolve it. Jesus teaches us in Matthew 18:15: “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.”

Open communication, humility, and a willingness to forgive can restore broken relationships.

Practical Steps for Everyday Life

• At Church: If there’s someone you don’t get along with at church, make an effort to greet them, pray for them, and focus on the shared mission of worship and service.
• As Neighbors: Be kind and patient, even if your personalities don’t naturally align. Acts of kindness can bridge gaps.
• At Work: Maintain professionalism and integrity. Look for opportunities to collaborate and support one another.

Loving others isn’t always easy, but it’s what we’re called to do as followers of Christ. Galatians 6:9 reminds us: “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Remember, our love for one another is not dependent on our feelings but on our obedience to Christ. By choosing to love, we become more like Jesus and bring glory to God.

So, the next time you find yourself thinking, “I just don’t like that person,” remember the words of Romans 12:18: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”

Take a step toward peace, unity, and love today—for the sake of Christ, His church, and the watching world.