You know, pride can be a sneaky thing. It often shows up when we least expect it, and sometimes we don’t even realize it’s there. Have you ever had an argument with someone and felt so convinced you were right that you refused to apologize? It’s a common scenario. We stick to our ground, thinking it’s about being right, but often, it’s pride that’s holding us back from resolving the conflict.

In Proverbs 16:18 (NIV), we read, “Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.” This verse is a stark reminder that pride can lead us down a destructive path. When we let pride take control, we close ourselves off from reconciliation and healing. To resolve conflicts with family, friends, coworkers, or even church members, we need to evaluate our part in the conflict honestly. We might need to reflect on our tone, choice of words, physical reactions, or facial expressions. There’s always something we could have done differently.

Take a moment to think about a recent conflict you had. Maybe it was a disagreement with a family member or a misunderstanding with a coworker. What if, instead of insisting on being right, you took a step back and considered how your words or actions might have contributed to the problem? James 1:19 (NIV) advises, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” This wisdom encourages us to pause and reflect before reacting, which can prevent pride from escalating the conflict.

One of the most challenging things about conflict resolution is apologizing. Admitting that we may have been wrong, or that we could have handled things better, requires humility. Ephesians 4:2-3 (NIV) says, “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” Humility is key to resolving conflicts and maintaining healthy relationships. When we approach someone with a humble heart and a willingness to make peace, we open the door for healing and reconciliation.

Let’s talk about handling old conflicts that have festered for a long time, even years. These kinds of unresolved issues can weigh heavily on our hearts and minds. The longer a conflict goes unresolved, the harder it can be to address. But it’s never too late to seek resolution. Jesus teaches us the importance of reconciliation in Matthew 5:23-24 (NIV): “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.” This passage highlights the priority God places on reconciliation, even above religious rituals.

So, how do we approach someone to resolve an old conflict? Start by praying for guidance and asking God to soften both your heart and the heart of the other person. Then, reach out with a spirit of humility and a genuine desire to make things right. You might say something like, “I’ve been thinking about our past disagreement, and I realize I could have handled things better. I’m sorry for my part in it, and I hope we can find a way to move forward.”

When it comes to resolving conflicts quickly, it’s important to give yourself time to let your emotions settle and to choose your words carefully. Proverbs 15:1 (NIV) tells us, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Take the time to calm down and pray before addressing the issue. Approach the conversation with gentleness and a genuine desire to understand the other person’s perspective.

Now, how can we keep from being prideful? It starts with recognizing that pride is a sin and seeking God’s help to cultivate humility. Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV) instructs us, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” This means putting others before ourselves and being willing to admit when we’re wrong.

Pride can manifest in various ways. It can look like stubbornness, a refusal to apologize, a need to always be right, or an unwillingness to listen to others. It can also show up as arrogance or a sense of superiority. In Luke 18:9-14 (NIV), Jesus tells the parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector. The Pharisee was prideful, boasting about his righteousness, while the tax collector humbly admitted his sin and asked for mercy. Jesus concludes, “For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

We see examples of prideful people in the Bible and the consequences of their actions. King Saul, for instance, let pride and jealousy lead to his downfall. In 1 Samuel 15, Saul disobeyed God’s command, and when confronted by the prophet Samuel, he tried to justify his actions rather than humbly admitting his mistake. As a result, God rejected him as king. In contrast, King David, though he made serious mistakes, showed humility and repentance when confronted with his sins, as seen in Psalm 51.

Another example is King Nebuchadnezzar, whose pride led to his temporary downfall. In Daniel 4:30-32 (NIV), he boasted about his achievements, and God humbled him by taking away his sanity until he acknowledged God’s sovereignty. Upon his restoration, Nebuchadnezzar praised God, showing that even the most prideful can find redemption through humility.

On the other hand, we have examples of individuals who demonstrated humility and were blessed for it. Jesus Himself is the ultimate example of humility. Philippians 2:5-8 (NIV) says, “In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothing by taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death—even death on a cross!”

Let’s strive to avoid the pitfalls of pride in our lives. By embracing humility, seeking reconciliation, and valuing others above ourselves, we can resolve conflicts and build stronger, healthier relationships. Remember, it’s not about being right; it’s about being Christ-like. Let’s ask God to help us see where pride has crept into our hearts and to give us the courage to make things right.

As we navigate our daily interactions, let’s keep Proverbs 16:18 in mind and strive to live in a way that reflects God’s love and humility. In doing so, we can be a light to those around us and demonstrate the power of God’s transformative grace in our lives. Blessings to you as you seek to walk humbly and make peace with those around you.