Proverbs 18:13 (NIV) – “To answer before listening— that is folly and shame.”

I must admit that poor listening skills are a pet peeve for me. It drives me crazy when I try to talk and someone either cuts me off or rolls their eyes when I am talking or when other people finish my sentences for me. For someone to cut you off before you can finish a thought is sooooo rude. Sometimes you are cut off because the listener thinks they know what you are going to say. Maybe they cut you off because they do not want to hear what you have to say. Of course, it could be because they have already planned a response and don’t feel like the rest of your information is necessary for their reply. Whatever the case, what it says to me is that the listener does not think me and/or my comments are important to them and/or they don’t have time to listen to what I have to say. Either way, it is annoying and if it becomes something that happens often with someone, I interact a lot with, it limits my conversations with that person. Better to be quiet than annoyed.

In our daily lives, we encounter numerous opportunities to communicate and engage with others. However, amidst the noise and distractions of this fast-paced world, we often overlook one vital aspect of effective communication: listening. As Christians, it is essential that we cultivate good listening skills in all aspects of our lives, including our marriages, workplaces, relationships with children, and interactions with friends. Let us explore the significance of being attentive listeners, drawing inspiration from both positive and negative examples found within the pages of the Bible.

1. Listening in Marriage:

Marriage serves as a beautiful reflection of the relationship between Christ and His Church. One crucial element of a strong marital bond is active listening. Listening involves empathizing, understanding, and seeking to meet the needs of our spouses. James 1:19 reminds us, “Let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger.” Take time to truly listen to your spouse’s heart, concerns, and desires. By doing so, we honor our partners and foster deeper intimacy in our marriages.

Positive Example: Abraham and Sarah faced numerous challenges throughout their journey. In Genesis 18, Sarah laughed when she overheard the Lord’s promise of a child. Although initially doubtful, Abraham listened and trusted God’s plan, demonstrating faithfulness to both God and his wife.

Negative Example: King Ahab failed to listen to his wife, Jezebel, in 1 Kings 21. This led to disastrous consequences as he disregarded her wise counsel and acted against God’s will.

2. Listening at Work:

Our professional lives are not exempt from the need for good listening skills. By attentively listening to our colleagues, superiors, and subordinates, we can enhance productivity, foster healthy relationships, and create a positive work environment. Proverbs 12:15 states, “The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.” Let us strive to be wise listeners who value the input and perspectives of others.

Positive Example: In the book of Exodus, Moses’ father-in-law, Jethro, observed his son-in-law becoming overwhelmed by his responsibilities. Jethro offered wise advice, and Moses, recognizing the importance of listening, followed it, leading to improved governance and shared responsibility.

Negative Example: The biblical figure Rehoboam rejected the counsel of his elders, listening instead to the advice of his peers, resulting in the division of the kingdom (1 Kings 12:1-15).

3. Listening to our Children:

The way we listen to our children profoundly impacts their emotional and spiritual growth. By actively listening, we create a safe space for them to express themselves, fostering trust and healthy communication. Jesus Himself emphasized the significance of children, saying in Matthew 18:5, “And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.” By listening attentively to our children, we demonstrate our love for them and reflect Christ’s love.

Positive Example: Eli, the priest in 1 Samuel, eventually learned to listen to Samuel, who heard from God. Eli’s openness allowed him to receive a prophetic message that he had initially missed due to his own shortcomings as a listener.

Negative Example: The sons of Eli, Hophni, and Phinehas, failed to listen to their father’s warnings and to God’s commands, leading to severe consequences (1 Samuel 2:22-25).

4. Listening to Friends:

Our friendships are enriched when we invest time and effort in truly hearing and understanding our friends. Proverbs 27:9 reminds us, “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of a friend springs from their heartfelt advice.” By being present in conversations and actively listening, we demonstrate our care and support for our friends.

Positive Example: In the book of Job, Job’s friends initially sat with him in silence, providing comfort through their presence. However, they later failed as listeners when they began offering misguided advice and judgments.

Negative Example: The disciples, on several occasions, struggled to truly listen to Jesus, failing to understand His teachings and purposes (Mark 8:31-33).

We can lean on God to teach us to be attentive listeners in our relationships, marriages, workplaces, and friendships. If we ask, He can help us to be slow to speak, quick to listen, and guided by His wisdom. May our hearts be open to receive Gods words and the words of others, enabling us to grow in love, understanding, and spiritual maturity.

As Christians, let us embrace the art of listening, for in doing so, we reflect the character of our loving Savior and create spaces where His grace and truth can flourish.